The Steady Swagger - Mr. Johnson

Where were you Mr. Johnson? Well it started when I was a boy in beautiful Montana I was farming Alpacas with my father and mama When late one night I was climbing a tree And out of nowhere a mountain lion sprung upon me Well our dog, Lady Trixie, was nowhere to be seen A Turkish Anatolian as tough as can be Did I fight the lion off? Hell I sure did try But I was just a boy, and that's the first time I died Considering the seriousness of the crime son You better not be lying or you'll do your time So I ask again, where were you Mr. Johnson? I bounced back as a man out in sunny Australia I started me a business, I was building computers I met my late wife and she brought forth a son And just outside the hospital there was a hit and run They ran me right over, they left me to die Funny that the hospital was right in sight And all through my life not one lie have I said that was in 1982, the second time I was dead You claimed you were climbing the peaks of the great white Rockies A reborn warrior, you were fighting off grizzlies You died a third time then you came back in Mali Are you ready to testify all of this to the jury I don't believe you Mr Johnson I do believe you are guilty as charged.