Imperative Reaction - Fault

I am dying inside and there is nothing I can do But what does it matter when there's nothing left to lose I'm still falling apart like I've always done before The pain is almost numbing and I'll always beg for more Tried so hard to make believe I was something more Tried so many times to start from where I stopped But that time has vanished and left me alone to dwell On all the damage I never left behind All the things I've ruined and pushed aside All the times I've lost and will never have again All the things I'm not but could have been I am drowning in the past and there is no one to save me I tried so hard to make it work but the world went on without me Now I stare through the window like a soul without a home I loathe the way I feel and i hate what I've become Tried so hard to make believe I was something more Tried so many times to start from where I stopped But that time has vanished and left me alone to dwell On all the damage I never left behind All the things I've ruined and pushed aside All the times I've lost and will never have again All the things I'm not but could have been Through all the pain I never meant to cause All the lives I've destroyed and crushed All the time I have lost and will never live again